17/6/09

Om Shanti

WHO AM I? OR WHO ‘I AM’

‘Personal details’? ‘Persona = the Actors mask, implies an Actor behind the mask. The mask of personality (called ‘me’) fronts up and hides the Actor who becomes invisible both to himself and the audience. The ‘me’ is a cover-up, loaded with ‘personal’ identification labels name the various roles played by the Actor. Frequently the roles take over and the Actor becomes typecast as something he is not. We each ‘take part’ in this ‘play’ on the stage of life, We have a chose to act the role poorly or well. It can be played forgetting who we really are in ‘real life’ (our True Inner Identity) or it can be played believing the role is ‘really me’. We therefore have two identities, a ‘false image’, which often takes over the Actors life, on and off stage, and the hidden inner identity who is really who I AM.

The ‘ME’ in various life roles (‘his’ story):
Body Born (in this embodiment) during war; Sept. 1944 (Virgo) in Essex.
Family: Mother (single parent) & half-sister. (earthly father not known)
Education: basic - Secondary Modern. GCSE- Religious Studies.
Employment 1961-94 Conveyancer/Conveyancing Manager
(4 redundancies during Thatcher era)
Eventually becoming house-husband & full-time carer for wife (with physical disability)
Married (still) 41 yrs. 2 grown-up daughters, 2 grandchildren
(part-time child minder for grandson)
Post-employment: Higher Education- 6yr part-time degree course Contemporary Fine Art @ KIAD Canterbury– graduating 2001 BA(Hons) 2nd class
Interests: Art/Art History, gardening, Tai Chi, classical music (Choral) & spiritual matters.

MY SELF: Highlights of the Spiritual Life Journey (the inner life evolution):

(Apocryphal) Mother said as a newborn baby ‘I’ would just lie still staring open-eyed ‘as in a trance’. She called out a doctor (Indian) from maternity hospital, and after sitting alone with me for several hours he said “all would be well”.

Had pre-school out of body experience with difficulty getting back inside the body quickly.

Later (early infant school) started to drifting off into absent minded dream states (always bumping into things and having accidents) One day, on the way to school, in this sort of reduced awreness dream state I crossed the road in front of an oncoming car. The sudden shock of this near accident caused a sudden awakening and afterwards everything looked ‘clearer and brighter’ for some while. (Although temporary I then knew, from direct experience, the difference between the dream condition and a more awakened state.

As young child became fascinated watching how thoughts, ideas and words came into consciousness seemingly from out of nowhere. Would watch them appear, and use them, but it was not ‘me’ doing it, it just seemed to happen in ‘front of my eyes’ (Inner Eye- AWARENESS)

Invented own ‘mental game’ called ‘just being there’, which was experimentally trying to stay, for as long as possible, with only what was happening, without thinking about it, and just observing (being aware of) what was experienced through all the senses at once – in the present moment.

Whilst at early stage Junior School there had been the usual childhood ailments, with some long periods alone in bed. Played a ‘listening game’ to see how long it was possible to be aware of, say vehicle, or airplane, noises coming nearer then receding away into the distance (when was the first very faint noise, or the last most distant sound?) This led to the early discovery of the very SUBTLE ‘INNER SOUND’, and I learnt to tune into this at will. As time went on I noticed this sound being heard even in noisy places or in the course of activities. This subtle inner sound became a source of re-assuring comfort, especially at difficult or troubling times, but did not know significance at time.

Mother and sister were kindly ‘ordinary’ people who did not understand any of these experiences and just dismissed them, so learnt to keep quiet about such matters. There were hardly any books in the home except a medical book and a large volume of ‘Pilgrims Progress’ (left by previous tenant) containing woodcut prints that became a continual source of fascination.

Our upstairs flat was opposite a small chapel (we were not a church going family). The usual evangelical posters would appear at regular intervals, and these could be read from our front window. One day a new one was put up, which read: JESUS SAID “I AM THE WAY, AND THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE” (John 14:2-6) Found this intriguing and fascinating. One day while contemplating this sign, I had a ‘flash of inspiration’ and saw and knew what it meant. It was NOT Jesus saying ‘he’ alone was ‘the way, the life and the truth, but he was proclaiming that the ‘I AM’ itself was the way, the truth and the life. Nor was this I AM just ‘in’ anyone as the ‘me’. It was not just a single person identity, but was ‘The’ single universal formless ‘Cosmic Principle’ of BEING ITSELF in which everything/everyone participated, but did not own. Although it is experienced individually as the ‘simple feeling of existence’ – it was pure unlimited infinite eternal formless ‘Being’ (SELF) Of course I did not at that stage have all these words to use, but that was the essential nature of this childhood revelation.

Whilst at school discovered from formal Bible study lessons there were more ‘I AM’ sayings throughout the Bible. These now made more sense when seen in the light of new understanding. “BE STILL AND KNOW ‘I AM’ GOD” – “I AM THAT I AM” etc. became new vehicles to a deeper spiritual understanding, and a I developed a thirst for knowledge. From the chance find of a second hand book I came to see that Jesus the man and teacher was not the same as the COSMIC ‘Christ Principle’ (the true pure essential formless Divine Nature of Being.

When group of older schoolboys were discussing ‘what was truth’ I could not understand why it was not clear that TRUTH was ‘THAT’ WHICH IS (truth is not a label for what is right, or a correct definition ‘about’ something. IT IS WHAT IS, the very Essence of PURE BEING (Years later I understood that when Pilate asked “What is truth?” Jesus gave ‘no reply’ i.e. was silent. This SILENCE itself was in fact the most eloquent reply, not as definition, but as the living SILENT REALITY of the ESSENTIAL SILENT BEINGNESS ITSELF -‘THE TRUTH’)

Became very interested in religious studies. This also led onto an early interest in comparative religion and alternative scriptures. As a result of the need to study more widely in 6th form I joined the local library for first time. This opened up whole new worlds, of philosophy, psychology and metaphysics etc.

My only other contact with anything, or anyone, ‘spiritual’ was two uncles, but they had rigid fundamental ‘religious’ believes and were not sympathetic to any alternative outlook.

On leaving school and going to work in the City (London) joined a larger library and discovered many ‘spiritual’ and ‘mystical’ books including the ‘Fourth Way’ teachings of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky. Soon after responded to a Tube poster and joined a ‘practical philosophy’ group which turned out to be a Fourth Way ‘School’ (who were in contact with Shankaracharaya.) These teachings, from various sources, also introduced group practices and awareness exercises. Eventually we were initiated into meditation though The School of Meditation (who also received guidance from Shankarachararya) We were each given a mantra. I pursued both for some years, even starting again through a local branch when I relocated job and home. Whilst at the Canterbury branch of the School I became a group stand-in tutor for a short while.

The teaching also helped increase understanding concerning The Infinite Eternal SELF as unlimited formless Awareness.

Eventually the increasing demands of work and an increased family life, as well as my wife’s increased disability, made it difficult to continue connection with School. Managed to continue some of the awareness practices and mantra-led meditation on own for some time, but without the strength of group support, or connection to a teaching input (‘School’) my own efforts declined and weakened.

However during earlier awareness practices and mantra led meditation had again noticed the subtle INNER SOUND, previously discovered in childhood, was always present. The School teachings had also focussed on the subject of sound as the first principle of Creation (“God ‘said’ let their be light” or “In the beginning was the ‘Word’ etc.) In due course, during meditation, I started to find the repetitive mental mantra was actually disturbing to the inner stillness and silent awareness, but the inner sound was always present. Eventually came to recognise this as the ‘Sound of Silence’ itself (the Still Silent Awareness of Pure Being -The SELF)

Joined various yoga groups, from time to time, but found the spiritual understanding and knowledge very limited, but these served to help keep a connection to awareness practises and various yoga teachings and advaita philosophy.

Over many years, on this Spiritual journey, have I have had various Guru’s ‘at a distance’ (in time and space) Spiritual Teachers such as Sri Ramana Maharshi , Sri Nisargadatta. Adi Da Samraj and many others, from various sources, including most recently Eckhart Tolle. Their teachings (in bookform & CD/DVD form) have continued to charge the ‘magnetic centre’ helping this continuation of the lifelong inner Spiritual Journey.

Buddhist teachings and awareness practices (including again listening to the inner sound) have helped along the way (many different sources, but could with inner discrimination, always find the same inner truth in various forms) Another chance find in a second-hand bookshop was called “The Sound Of Silence’ (Ajahn Sumedho) which, on first off the shelf inspection, fell open at the chapter of the same name which describes the practice of finding and listening to INNER SOUND and this helped strengthen my own practice

The Part-time Contemporary Fine Art Degree Course (1995-2001) became ‘full-time in the head’ and tended to take over normal life (including spiritual life) but it helped connect more strongly to the emotional ‘Heart Centre’ and the practical experience of working from the ‘Creative Principle’ (but these were not matters to share with Tutors!)

Few years ago our daughter had problems and came (with 6month baby) to live us for couple of years. This caused problems, stress and tension. Found it soothing listening to choral ‘spiritual’ music (sound again!) In spite of inner mental/emotional turmoil I again found strength in listening to the INNER SOUND while listening to soothing and uplifting music (The Inner Sound is strong while listening to music)

Consulted Homeopath for stress/tension and he encouraged idea of re-connecting to a formal meditation practice and gentle exercise exercise like Tai Chi.

2007: Started attending Tai Chi classes (Matthew Brewer) Also joined a meditation group run by Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University (but found their form of meditation practices only verbal, but it did help to strongly re-establish own link with the inner Wordless Sound (‘The Word’) and acted as reminder about own previous practice as a more regular habit)

Also found Tai Chi practice (in class & home practice) as another form of AWARENESS EXERCISE, and another re-connection to the ‘Sound of Silence’. Through Matthew have been introduced to Chinese Medicine and now have acupuncture, which, like the Tai Chi, seems to help on various levels (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual too)

For some while now the INNER SOUND has started, more and more, to resonate in most activities throughout the day (including first thing on awaking mornings and last thing at night) Easer now to ‘tune-in’ away from formal meditation sessions (although formal practice still helps strengthen the subtle connection)

Now seems clear, from experience, that the INNER SOUND is the ‘call of the present moment’ – the ‘Sound of Now’ – as it can only be heard when in the present (NOW) It can be ‘heard’ in the spaces between ideas and thoughts, or between pauses in speech and even during activities. It’s like a ‘call to prayer’ and a reminder to ‘mindfulness’ in daily life. It underlies and supports life and is the ‘vibration’ of LIFE itself, as heard and felt. It is the call of the Divine – The ‘Word’ - the ‘Word of God’. It’s an inner sound (not an outer noise through the external ear) It is always present, even if ignored, forgotten, neglected or over-looked , but the more it is acknowledged and is given attention the stronger becomes the ‘signal’ of this Silent Awareness. When seemingly absent it’s only like the Sun behind the clouds, it is there but just not ‘seen’ because the mental clouds that obscure its presence.

The ‘living meditation’ is no longer just an inner directed internal formal practice, but has opened up into being a radiating point or centre spreading outwards (one definition of the Divine is ‘a point with its centre everywhere, but its circumference nowhere’) The human instrument (body/mind) seems to be just a transmitter of Awareness coming through it. The term ‘human-being’ reveals this combination of the ‘human’ form and formless ‘Being’

“IN THE BEGINNING … God ‘said’ (sound) let their be light”, so Old Testament (Genesis) testifies to the pre-eminence of sound over light. The New Testament proclaims: “In the beginning was the Word (sound), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1)

AS the INNER SOUND is heard (experienced or felt) there must be a subject-object relationship (AWARENESS and/of THE SOUND) Question: Is ‘Sound’ the vibration of or from The Absolute Awareness? Like listening to yourself singing? Can the SOUND be AWARENESS itself (knowing itself)? What is the relationship of this Sound to Awareness? The SOUND I now suspect, or infer, is what I AM and what at present feels like ‘me’ is not me afterall!

This is the understanding, as of now. Maybe this is all “through a glass darkly”? No doubt the sight (inner sight) and what is heard (understood) can be clarified and refined still further (maybe by refining and cleansing the mental instrument of consciousness?) I suspect it will only be by removing the remaining obstructions and impediments that the pure ABSOLUTE AWARENESS, already existing, can be revealed. Rather than adding ‘more words’ to what I hear and think I know, I may only need to find my way back to THE WORD. That is where I now find I need PRACTICAL HELP and guidance from some higher source.

It is said the only Guru is the Inner Guru (SELF) which pulls the disciple back towards the TRUE CENTRE, but the outer Guru can assist by pushing the disciple inwards until the pull from the Spiritual Centre can take over to the finish. Of course we were never separate but it just appears to be so, like in a dream.

A few weeks ago when sitting in the stillness of the SILENT SOUND I expressed, internally the need now, on this life long spiritual quest, for some practical and obvious external help in the form of ‘Guru’ or Spiritual Teacher (and furthermore one who was nearby- but I thought that might be too much to expect!) Perhaps writing this all down now is now another step in contacting a ‘true source’ outside help?

When I had my ‘fortune’ told some time ago I was told I would “go on a journey, but it might only be as far as Canterbury!” This only made sense to me if it was part of my ‘spiritual journey’. Maybe the Guru is nearer than I, or the fortune-teller, expected, or he has moved nearer to me! ‘I AM closer than the eye or the ear’ is true, but Cromwell Road is near too!

WHO AM I? - “I AM” pure infinite eternal formless BEING (AWARENESS) is the answer, from my intellect and ‘Heart Centre’, but it is not the actual experience of my being. I hear THE SOUND but is that all there is to it? Is that it? Is there more to it than that, or shall I just go on like this alone?

I AM: a husband, father, brother, son, grandfather, carer, house-husband, (almost) a pensioner, an artist, gardener etc, ect, but take away all these outer labels of personal role-play, and there is the non-personal Absolute Divine I AM (but of course that does not yet feel at all like ‘me’!)

George deHaas

Click on text frames below to enlarge:

30 June 2009

Om Shanti.

My Dear Acharya,

I am very grateful for your reply. I saved opening your email until I could appreciate it in a good still state, on my own, last Wednesday afternoon. Your words, went right inside and were understood by my heart, more than read in my head. They had an electrifying effect, which lasted throughout Tai Chi that night.

When I got back, later that night, I picked up a book I was trying to finish ('Hermit In The Himalayas' by Paul Brunton) and by a strange synchronicity, this is what I was startled to read:

"Whatsoever I have found in these elusive realms of spiritual being I share ... If I enter into peace profound, it is not alone for me but for them also; if I discover the benignity back of Nature, the high mood wings its way silently towards them. When the exquisite pulsation of the sacred silence overwhelms me with its sublimity, I telegraph it, as by telepathy, to those faithful souls."

This poetically seemed to mirror your own guidance about 'relating to others' - 'directly or indirectly'.

As you will, I hope, see from the attachment herewith, I seem to have already started to see the 'Sound of Silence' as outgoing in practice. As you can also detect I have not yet found my feet, but it seems they have, perhaps, already been guided at least to the gateway onto that path, by intuition. As I am presently stumbling along this path, in the dark, I would most welcome any light you can shed along the way, which you know so well.

Sorry if the attachment is somewhat lengthy and confused, but I suppose that reflects how I feel. The document started out as one thing, but ended up as something else! Nevertheless by putting these matters down I can see, for myself at least, where I have come from. I'm just not really sure, if you will be able to see where I am coming from!

Please do not take any time out to reply regarding matters in the attachment, as I do not wish to take up your time. I will hear what you have to say when we meet.

Thank you for your most kind help. Already your guidance has been enlightening and is shedding its light into my life.


PROPOSED DISCUSSION DOCUMENT (Draft)

re: The Sound of music and the Music of the ‘Sound’

Firstly, I am not really sure if any of the following observations are of any importance, or real significance or interest. As far I am concerned they are just low- key experiences that have occurred and were observed. They seem small-scale events and insights, but may not be of interest to anyone else?

However, I am putting this document together, in preparation for the proposed discussion for “sharing and comparing our respective experiences of the ‘sound of silence’ in relation to music listening”.

I now set out below, various internal experiences, observed by myself, concerning the subtle inner sound (‘Sound of Silence’) and the simultaneous listening to music; together with some other sound related, or inner ‘sound’ experiences, or matters, of which I have become aware:

1) While listening to music, the inner sound is experienced at the same time as the outer music, but it is possible, I find, to switch the focus of the attention between both.

2) Sometimes the inner sound ‘appears’ more intense, or ‘seems’ louder, but observation seems to indicate that it is really like clouds (inner mental condition) obscuring the un-dimmed sun (the constant inner sound) When the mind is too active (in a ‘mental storm’) or in a more dense state (foggy), this inner mental atmosphere tends to obscure, or cloud, the steady state of the constant inner sound. When the music is calming or soothing (therapeutic) the mental activity is reduced and the ‘mental atmosphere’ becomes stiller and clearer, thus acting as a more efficient vehicle, or reflector, for the pure uncontaminated inner sound.

3) As an internal experience, the ‘inner sound’ is experienced closer ‘centrally’ (i.e. nearer the central core awareness?) than the internal sensation of the musical sound experience, which makes the experiential sensation of the music seem external (N.B. The inner sound seems closer to what ‘I am’, than everything else ‘inside’) For sometime now I have realised the importance of the need to, as it were, radiate out ‘from’ the centre rather than trying to look inwards towards the centre, but the ‘sound’ always seemed to be the key.

4) An internal ’roaring sound’ (sounding like a very strong wind) sometimes comes, while listening to certain choral music1. Again it is while I have been in a very calm and still, mentally silent, alert state (with the ‘sound of silence’) The roaring wind sound comes in short series or bursts and then ceases.


5) An internal ‘tearing noise’ (sounding like ‘dry fibres’ being torn apart) occurring in a short series, has been experienced, while in state of stillness. This has occurred on various occasions (in conjunction with the ‘roaring sound’) ‘Tearing’ again usually heard, during same choral music.

6) An inner ‘ripple-effect’ sensation (first noticed while listening to music, but later occurring from time to time in other situations too):
(a) Experienced, initially, like a contracting ripple (like the ripples from a stone dropped in still water, but put into reverse i.e. starting outer and contracting inwards towards core point of ‘Heart Centre’ (near centre of chest) This seemed to indicate the centre I felt the need to ‘come from’.
(b) Experienced ‘ripple’ subsequently as an outgoing, expanding, ripple going outwards from core of what I have called the ‘Heart Centre’.

7) As a result of noticing the reversal of ‘ripple effect’, from being at first only an inward going experience, to it later becoming an expanding ‘outgoing’ sensation, I became aware that meditation itself, on the subtle inner-sound, could itself also be ‘turned around’, in actual practice.

8) At first the sound form of ‘sound meditation’ (i.e. using the natural continuous always present subtle inner sound, as a focus, instead of my old ‘given’ manta) had been seen, and used, as a formal ‘sitting down’ inward directed mental tool i.e. going inwards (with eyes closed) into the dark closed-down ‘mental’ interior space. Having noticed the reversal of the internal ‘ripple effect’, it was found to be possible, in practice, to ‘change-around’ the meditation process itself. From ‘meditation’ being only an inward-going internal experience, going into a ‘separate’ personal centre, it became, a practice (at first experimentally, but later permanent practice) to experience the ‘internal’ sound as an expanding outgoing vibration, going outwards, from an outward looking central core. Although this was still used only in a formal, sitting down, practice, the process was nevertheless outgoing. Subsequently it was realised that the ‘inner’ sound itself was not really ‘separate and inward’, but was actually ‘central and out-going’, even if the eyes were shut and the internal ‘mental noise’ was closed down.

9) Once I began to see that the ‘sound’ itself was central and ever present, there was the realisation that it was possible to operate from that centre, in active life, away from the security of the meditation seat itself. It was then about becoming ‘tuned into’ the ‘sound’ and being aware of the ‘sound’ during activities (like now, as I type this!) The problem then was the difficulty, at first, of staying ‘tuned in’!

10) By practice the remembrance of the ‘sound’ has increased in normal daily life. The key, at first, was to always try to ‘acknowledge’ the sound’ when it did come in. N.B In this respect again listening to music, had been important too in recognising that becoming aware of the sound and then giving it attention (staying with the inner sound) was a first step to moving away from the formal ‘quiet place’ for meditation.

11) As I had left behind the security of a given active mental mantra, for the effortless, passive ‘listening’ to the natural ever-present mantra of the ‘sound’, it also possible to move around and be with that in normal active life. The more it was used the more it was remembered, or was noticed.

12) Another key moment of transition was the fairly recent realisation that the ‘sound’ could be felt in a very subtle way too. The fine distinction between ‘hearing’ the ‘sound’ and ‘feeling’ the subtle ‘vibration of the sound’ is difficult to define at this stage. My feeling is that it is linked to the sensation of ‘feeling’ the inner ‘ripple effect’ while listening to music (music itself is of course both heard and felt, involving the head and the heart/emotions)

13) Also the experience of the ‘ripple effect’ (during music) was I feel linked to some other internal changes, regarding both formal sound-meditation and living meditation ‘meditative living’; including the way the ‘silent sound’ was experienced:

(a) The example of the inner felt ‘ripple’ changing centrally, from ingoing, to an outgoing sensation was another link to the turn-around in the natural evolution of the meditation, both formal and active. It was also important that I had recognised the link between the ingoing and outgoing ‘ripple’ effect both being experience (felt) in the (emotional) Heart-Centre, which was the point from which the ripple sensation came from, or went towards (like a pointer drawing attention to this ‘small point’) This seemed to suggest that the Heart-Centre was, for myself, an important area to be more aware of. I previously used to say to my artist friend, some time ago, that my (sudden) interest in art, late in life, was so I could ‘make more contact with my emotional centre’ and I had also started liking films because they often ‘moved me’ and were ‘good for me emotionally’. I had always been ‘head-based’ (felt ‘I’ lived inside my head)

(b) It also helped to locate the central ‘point’ of the ripples. By focusing, or placing the awareness, onto the ‘point’ of the heart-centre I became aware that I could relocate the ‘sound’ experience from being ‘heard’ inside the head, to the ‘sound’ as a vibration being ‘felt’ as coming from the Heart-Centre area. By experimentation and practice, I became aware that it was possible, as a matter of choice, to switch from hearing the ‘sound’ in the head, or to feeling the ‘sound as vibration’ in the Heart Centre.

(c) In this connection I was able to realise the subtle difference between the two centres in connection with the ‘sound’: On Tuesday’s I collect my grandson, take him to nursery school and I have then made it practise, when I can, to find somewhere quiet to sit in silence (beach, library or church) ready to collect Jack, after nursery, and have him until Emma gets home from work. One such day, last year, while alone, on the empty beach, I was sitting, in silence, listening to the ‘sound in the head’ but also being aware of the whole scene around and the complete experience on all senses. In a condition of repose, I then tried switching to feeling the vibration of the sound coming from the heart-centre. I became aware of the very slight difference between the two centres (although I must say the difference is very subtle) The ‘sound’ when ‘heard in the head’ appears to be more incoming, but the sound ‘felt as a vibration from the Heart-centre’ seems to be more outgoing (or at least, that is how I perceived the experience, as ‘coming from the heart-centre) Once I was aware of the outward going ‘broadcasting’ feeling, I was also aware, that instead of the ‘sound’ being ‘just for me, for my peace-of-mind (or ‘piece’ of mind!) then the feeling of the ‘sound’ being as it were ‘broadcast’, was something new and exciting too! Since then I have used both, but the outgoing feeling of ‘transmitting’ the ‘Sound of Silence’ is more satisfying (N.B. word ‘satisfying’ is I believe connected to sattva, one of the three gunas.)

(d) I am not yet sure about this myself, but if the ‘sound’ is incoming into the head-centre, the it can be understood as replenishing (‘water from a well that will never dry-up’?) then the silent sound vibration going out from the heart-centre can be seen as a subtle form of ‘giving out’ (water for the thirsty?)

(e) Subsequently I have realised too that the ‘sound’ is not ‘mine’, but I am now aware of it as being ‘received’. It is not even possible to ‘claim’ to be actively broadcasting, or ‘sending’ it out. It is more a matter of being open and available for higher use. However I do think there is an obligation to be ‘actively’ carried out, as ones own duty, to make sure the ‘vehicle’ (i.e.body/mind/spirit) fit-for-purpose (diet/health/meditation etc.)2

14) It has now become a form of ‘living meditation’, out and about in life and in all situations, as often as it comes to mind (often it is a case of the sound doing the reminding ‘re-minding’) It is there, when I wake and is there as the last thing I focus on before going to sleep at night. Though still often forgotten, it is always again available, as a forgiving faithful presence. Many times it comes to mind, but when forgotten, for too long, it is often ‘found again’ calling me back home, to this present moment. The more I acknowledge this long neglected gift, that we all in fact share, the more the ‘sound’ becomes known and calls, It ‘calls’ to me, as the sound within, and ‘calls’ on me as a ever faithful, lifelong, companion.

15) It is now realised, that as the ‘inner-sound’ is always present, in the ‘now’, as it is right here, right now, even as this is typed (and read!) It is always available, in any circumstances and in whatever the situation. Regardless of whether the eyes are shut or closed, whether sitting or active, in a silent space or noisy place. Whether the mind is quiet, or we are mentally active; the ‘Sound’ is always there and available. We can choose to listen to it in any place, at any time, what ever we are doing. It is not just ‘there’, but is always ‘here’ and always ‘now’.


16) When we notice the Sound we know we are ‘present’, and knowingly being with Sound is ‘presence’. The Sound is the vibrant ‘sound of life’, the sound of life living, right here ‘now’. The Sound is the vibration of life itself, as we live and live in it ‘now’, as it lives through us (or the sound of life ‘living us’) Hearing the ‘Sound of Silence’ is living ‘now’. Knowing the vibrating presence of the ‘Silence of The Sound’ is the ‘sound of now’ in our life. (N.B Although Eckhart Tolle mentions ‘listening to the silence’ he does not as far as I am aware specify what he means by that, but on the other hand not many spiritual, or biblical, writers do! It just seems to be an open secret that’s hinted at, but not openly stated very often- perhaps it time it was?)

17) I am now aware that the ‘Sound’ is in fact the ‘ Sound of Silence’ itself 2. Silence is not a separate ‘noiseless’ place or state, just a mere absence of noise. If there is noise, then the ‘Sound of Silence’ is there too, and if there is no noise the ‘Silence of the Sound’ is still ‘heard’. When there is silence then there is the knowing awareness of the ‘sound silence’ too.

18) This ‘Silent Sound’ is not a negative absence, in a blank void of nothingness, but it is the strong vibrant living ‘current’1 of Awareness Itself. The ‘Sound of Silence’ is only ‘heard’ because of awareness. Thanks to the sudden illumination, due to Acharya Peter Wilberg, I now understand, more clearly, that The Sound of Silence comes from awareness itself, as the very vibration of awareness itself, but is known by awareness. We cannot of course ‘see’ awareness, but we can know (be aware) that as we ‘hear’ the ‘Sound of Silence’. Knowing the ‘Sound of Silence’ it must, by inference, be sounding in awareness itself, in order to be known by awareness. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (gospel of John) seems to describe the relationship between the ‘Sound’ (the Word) and ‘Awareness’ (God)?

19) There cannot be ‘me’ and ‘awareness’, as two different separate entities. ‘I am’ because I am ‘aware’ that I am. ‘I am’ too depends on awareness to exist as the pure and simple feeling of ‘I am’ without labels. Awareness must be absolute and must be self aware, otherwise it would not be complete and could not be said to be aware. By knowing the Sound we know I am here ‘now’ and by knowing ‘I am here now’ awareness is aware that it is aware of itself too (I think?)

20) However, as I can see all this can easily just become a sort of cerebral mind game of semantics, if I am not too careful, so I am drawn back to the practical methodology. Meditation, as I now see more clearly, can become just a formal non-activity away from the activity of living and ‘relating’. I now begin to see and understand that we need to combine the ‘awareness of life’, in living ‘life’. The ‘silence’, found in meditation, must be carried on in the living activity of life itself, no matter where we are, or what we do (even as I now type this too!)


21) However, I also now see, thanks to Acharya again, there is no point to even that if it is just for ‘me’ and my ‘peace of mind, otherwise ‘peace of mind’ just becomes my ‘piece’ of mind. This ‘piece’ of mind becomes a rather small ‘me’, but becomes expressed in capital letters, inside us, as ‘ME’. ‘Me’ becomes ‘mine’ and then ‘me, and ‘mine’ separate from ‘you’ and ‘yours’ and everything separates and falls apart, into small unrelated pieces. When there are pieces the whole is destroyed. When wholeness is destroyed there is no peace, as peace is shattered into pieces too. When peace is shattered the ‘sound of silence’ becomes buried and unheard.

22) As I now see it, the solution, for our part, is to share ‘our peace’ with the world and others. Instead of an inward looking meditation, or ‘walking mindfulness’, ‘just for me’, the meditation (or awareness of the Sound of Silence, in activity) can be (must be) a practice of opening outwards, towards others and to world. Our personal venture, can become a global adventure, as our peace is shared out with others and acts as a catalyst on all the others in ‘our world’. ‘Our world’ is not just this globe, called planet Earth. ‘Our world’ is for each of us the ‘part’ we occupy and know, and the part we actively live in.

23) By taking responsibility for ‘my world’ we automatically start ‘taking responsibility for the ‘others’ who occupy or live in ‘our personal world’ (the world we know all around us, where ever we might be, from day to day.

24) The first step on the road to recovery, in ‘my world’ is just becoming aware of the ‘Sound of Silence’ and starting to acknowledge that. It begins with the simple act of listening to the ‘silence as it passes through us, out on it journey to others and ‘our world’.

25) When the ‘sound’ is recognised, it starts to become apparent in our life, as we move about. Whatever activity we perform the sound is there too, as a reminder of our own existence and the peace being transmitted through us. The more we acknowledge this living sound the more it will come into our life and ‘our world’ and begin to work on and for others too.

26) Meditation on the ‘Sound of Silence’ is a natural form of meditation available to anyone, anywhere, at anytime. This meditation is passive and requires no repetitive mantra, or mental effort, nor any expensive initiation ceremony. It is freely available, as natural gift, given to all of humanity, as a birthright. Everyone already has it, they only need to find it and begin to use it. We all have it, no matter what our beliefs or religion. The skin colour or culture, makes no difference either, as it’s already a part of us, even though we might not know it. No education or learning is required, and it is available to any class or cast. We only have initiate ourselves and to decide to put it into practice ‘now’.

27) No special place is required and we do not have to go anywhere special, as everywhere is seen as special in this practise. Though the ‘sound’ might usually be said to be ‘heard’ the-sound-of-silence is an natural internal function not dependent on good hearing, or the ears even, so even the deaf can still hear this sound, which is internal not external

28) We don’t ‘think’ we have it, but in fact we have already got it ‘now’ and it is already ‘here’, so there’s no need to wait. Prayer and worship are not required, but any form of belief, or existing spiritual practise does not need changing.

29) The ‘Sound’ was present when I started this and it is still with me now. Even when it gets forgotten, for some of the time, the ‘still small voice’ of this silent sound is ever present and always calls to us ‘now’, calling us back from the past into the this ever-present moment. It’s not something to be waited for in the future, or some future event. Here it is and here it stays. Present in our head, or felt through the heart.

30) A few days ago, back waiting quietly, alone on the beach, again, while ‘listening’ and ‘feeling’ the Sound of Silence, coming through the inner stillness, while being aware of the outgoing nature of the non-personal ‘transmission’, I was aware of the wide scene and all the senses. I saw, in the distance, a bird approaching, flying parallel, to the beach. When it got near it veered in towards where I was sitting. It flew in and calmly alighted, only a few feet from where I was. I could see it was a wader type (a Plover, I think) Normally they don’t come that close to humans, but it calmly walked around near me and eventually settled down in the shingle, close to me, for some while. In due course it got up and walked about some more before calmly flying away. It felt like a privilege and a sign of personal confirmation, meant for myself. The bird was calm, I was silent and still; we were both wrapped in the same sense of secure stillness and there seemed, for those minutes, as if there was no difference between us at that deep still level.

31) One final re-connection to sound: For some time now, I have felt that ‘order and harmony’, are important in my life. These have helped recover my balance in life.

I did not intend to write all this at the beginning, hence the long delay, in my promised reply (also given the fact I am a self taught one-fingered typist!) All this, just came out and something sort of took over. It now seems to be like a denial to delete most of this, so I trust you will understand, that it has helped me to see my outer and inner life, in perspective, for myself.

Everything now makes better sense. Looking back, now everything seems ‘meant’ and leads to where I find myself now. In Tai Chi I became strongly aware of the ‘sound of silence’ during group activity (with the inner feeling of ‘sharing’ this) and it linked to the living-meditation practise, based on the ‘sound’. Matthew’s references to ‘awareness’ and ‘presence’, during the movements, connected. Through Tai Chi I met Karin, who seemed like a messenger, ‘angel’, bringing me news of a Acharya and the website too!) Acharya has sent an enlightening reply, and Karin brings his book too (her ‘messenger’ role again!) I sat in the garden, in meditation, expressing my urgent need ‘for a Guru’ and within a few weeks one arrives, locally too (my other Tai Chi tutor had to go to the USA for his!) Well I have arrived here now, with an inner knowledge that ‘all is well’ and ‘all is right’.

I know also that I have to acknowledge the help and all the insights gained from the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, which guided me for many years. As Arthur Osborne wrote “The Maharshi … taught mainly through the tremendous power of Spiritual Silence. …it was the silent influence upon the heart that was the essential teaching”. Perhaps that got through to me afterall.

I am not looking to discus all of this at the first meeting, you will be relieved to note! Maybe this will just give you a better idea of where I am at, and where I am now coming from? I am though still unclear where I am going!

Maybe, as you suggested, just our mutual experiences, to do with the ‘sound’ and music, would indeed be a very useful starting point.

However I would, at some stage, like to understand your reference to “your destiny as guru”. What that meant by that, and why?


APPENDIX

Re: the OCTAVE (Scale)

I now recall, that the ‘Fourth Way’ teaching, passed on by Gurdjief , regarded the ‘Law of Seven’ (the ‘Octave’) as important. As the Octave is of course know generally in its musical form, as the musical scale, maybe this might be of relevance to the link between music and the spiritual journey. According to the teaching, as I recall it, the Law of Seven is said to have two points of difficulty, between 3/4 and 6/7, which can only be overcome by outside influences from a outside source of help. From the point of view of the spiritual journey, the aspirant can using the ‘higher influences’ already in the public domain (scriptures, teachings, high arts etc) progress by themselves from points (notes) 1 to 3 by their own efforts plus the ‘pull of the way’, relying on the power of their own ‘magnetic centre’ for inner guidance. From the first point of difficulty, 3/4, they can no longer rely on their own efforts (as their own magnetic centre is not strong enough) and they require an input and help from people further along the path (i.e. a guru, spiritual teachers, or a Higher Esoteric School) in addition to their own continued efforts, in order to progress further. The last point of difficulty comes, near the end of that particular journey at the point 6/7, where even the influences at that level cannot help and it requires work by the aspirant plus the direct intervention from the Absolute (working through a source or power coming from the next octave, as a form of ‘Divine intervention’, into the lower octave) I must admit although this now comes to mind, as a result of considering the ‘sound’ and ‘music’, it does seem a bit esoteric although it does make sense to me too. Taking everything into account, it would appear, from that teaching, I have reached the first point of difficulty, at point 3/4, and this is where the outside help and input is required, from someone further along the octave I am on. (QUESTION, Maybe for a future date: Is this relevant or useful?)

Thank you,

George


'STOP EXERCISE’ IN MOTION (to clear a space) 1/7/09

I recall hearing, that Gurdjief often used his ‘stop exercise’ with his groups. At a given signal, which could come at any time, they were to immediately and instantly stop whatever they were doing and watch (be aware of the result, internally and externally. He sometimes used this, on a very grand scale. He would perhaps suggest, unexpectedly, say a large, organised, outing, for the whole group, for the next day. Meetings would be held, plans drawn up, large quantities of food prepared, timetables and maps consulted and transport organised sufficient for everyone. Bags would be packed, in advance, for a very early morning departure.
On the day, everyone would be woken, very early. An extra early breakfast was hastily taken. Transport would arrive, the group would assemble and names checked off on the passenger list. Luggage, bags and all the food were carefully packed and put on board, as general excitement mounted amongst the expectant group. Everyone would board and find their carefully prior allotted seats.

At the exact time of departure Gurdjief , and his staff, would arrive, further increasing the general air of excitement. However instead of giving the order to depart, he casually announced the trip was cancelled! There was a sudden and unexpected deflation, as pre-set plans, fixed ideas, imagined schemes and personal agenda’s were all instantly shattered. A great sense of dejection and general disappointment, at first, prevailed.

After unloading and un-packing, everyone was left at a loose end, with nothing to do, for the whole day. Gradually, a sense of, unexpected, freedom, began to prevail, as people started to relax and unwind, after all the previous effort. In due course they began to feel and understand that they had not been ‘hoaxed’, or put out by the whim of the Master, but that he had deliberately and carefully planned the whole thing, as an exercise in ‘personal observation’.

However, it was soon also realised that instead of it just being one of his frequent ‘self awareness exercises’, he had in fact created, for everyone, a sudden, day long, blank time-gap, in which every one of them were suddenly free. Free from plans, pre-set fixed-ideas and, most of all, from the tyranny of timetables and schedules. It was like he had torn a great hole in time and given them all a gift of great space. In that space they could begin to experience a deep sense of peace and awareness, thanks to this crafty-master, of ‘The Fourth Way’.

Today, an important ‘time gap’ occurred, for myself too! It gave me a sudden and unexpected time-space, to find, for myself, the important answer I had been seeking for some time! When I checked my emails this morning I found my meeting had been cancelled. However, as Shirley had someone coming anyway, and it was a fine day, I decided to use the unexpected time-gap as an opportunity to be free myself, as a change from various obligations (normally I would have found some task in the home or garden, or gone shopping) I realised that I could freely use this sudden time-gift, for myself, and by myself, as I chose. I packed my breakfast and snacks in my bag, with a book I was planning to start. I set off early for the beach, by walking across the golf course.

On the way, I found a bench where I sat undisturbed in peace, for some time, watching the general scene and nature. I found a strong sense of alert silent stillness. There was a sense of the vibrant silence too, which I felt and heard, flowing outwards. Eventually I moved on, continuing a pleasant relaxed, alert, stroll, across the walkway, to the nearby beach, taking in the scene and people I met, along the way.

At the beach, after a light fruit breakfast, sitting on a wooden breakwater, I was alone, looking about quietly, for some while, taking in the sense of peace and warm freedom all around. I looked at a nearby standing seagull, looking back at me, and felt that what was looking through us both, was the same in spite of the different outer forms. The wide panorama invited an opportunity to feel the outflow of inner silence going outwards, of it own volition, without any effort on my part.

After a while I was again aware of my old head-puzzle, about the feeling of an outward flow from the heart-centre and the same sense of the outward flow from the head-centre also– how and why? Why does the experience of the ‘sound’ in the head-centre sometimes seem incoming, but other times seem outgoing? If the sense from the heart-centre, is always an ‘outward’ going experience, how can it sometimes also be experienced as ‘outgoing’ in the head-centre too? I just watched the experience, but still felt a sense of puzzlement.

I felt that just watching, was still the key. I just tried to continue watching, without thinking about the problem. In that space, I suddenly and unexpectedly realised, in an instance, the answer to my puzzle! The reason the inner-sound of silence ‘appears’ in the head-centre, as if is sometimes ‘incoming from the outside’ or ‘outgoing from inside’, is simply because the ‘silent sound’, of awareness, which can be felt as flowing outward from the heart-centre, is being reflected in the consciousness, experienced in the head-centre. It all became clear, there and then, in a flash!

It maybe described verbally, as maybe something like this:

a) First of all, the subtle sense the ‘outflow’ experienced in the heart-centre is not just coming ‘from’ the centre-point, but it can instead best be described as coming through the point of the heart-centre (from a deeper, or higher, source).

b) The heart-centre is ‘giving out’, but it not a producing centre. Awareness is just passing through, this subtle centre point (which is like a gateway).

c) The heart-centre does not directly transmit outwards, into the outside world, but operates, indirectly, via a reflecting mirror in the head-centre.

d) The consciousness, situate or experienced, in the head-centre, acts like a mirror, or reflector for awareness.

e) When the ‘mirror of the mind’ (consciousness) is obscured, then the subtle, awareness produced, sound-vibration, coming out, through the heart-centre, is inefficiently reflected on, or in, cloudy consciousness (inefficient mind-mirror).

f) When the consciousness is clear, or pure, the awareness-vibration coming up from the heart-centre is, cleanly and efficiently, fully ‘reflected’ by the mirror of consciousness.

g) The reflecting consciousness, acting as a mirror, by it reflective nature, both receives and transmits (like the mirror does with light).

h) When the ‘sound of silence’ is experienced in the consciousness of the head-centre, as being an ‘incoming’ sensation, this is the sense of the heart-centre transmitted vibration coming onto the surface of the mind-mirror (out from the heart-centre).

i) When the ‘sound’ is experienced as being ‘outgoing’, this is the sound-vibration being ‘bounced off’ a clear reflecting consciousness and being transmitted, or ‘reflected’, outwards.

j) This combined process is continuous both receiving and reflecting at the same time, like a mirror. It is just the subtle attention that is perceived to switch back and forth, in consciousness, between the incoming or outgoing sensation, as felt, on or near the reflective surface in consciousness.

This, also explains the reason we normally feel that we exist as a ‘personal consciousness‘, inside the head-centre’, but the ‘feeling’ of real identity is located, naturally, in the heart-centre based. We usually, point to ‘ourselves’, at the heart-centre, located near the middle of the chest, to refer to ourselves, and say ‘I’ (in spite of ‘feeling’ that we exist, inside the head, but we to not point to our head and refer to that centre as ‘I’).

I fully appreciate my crude attempt, to put my instant experience, into words, does not do justice to the sudden, instantaneous, insight. Also I concede my attempt to verbalise it, in poorly selected, words of my own, would be better served if I could readily produce the correct words and proper terminology. I could of course, in due time, refer to suitable books, to find the right terms. However the main insight concerned the ‘reflector’ and what that explained and clarified about my own previous experiences and inner observations.

I feel sure, Acharya has already written fully and properly of these matters, in correct terms, but I needed to understand what I observed for myself, on my own level. I am sure, that as I start to learn more of Achaya’s teachings I will be more able to see more, and better understand, more fully and deeply, at new higher, or deeper, levels.

Just thought, I should try to note down the experience, and the unexpected insight, quickly, while it is all still fresh.

George

10/11/2009

Dearest Acharya,

Thanks very much for your kind invitation to meet again. Yes indeed, I would very much appreciate another meeting, as the last one was very helpful indeed. It opened the my experience regarding the expansion of the 'subtle sound' in my outer life (it is present as this is typed, but 'forgetting' it has become the new issue I feel I need to address now)

As I have already indicated to Karin, I would like to discus the perennial problem of staying or remaining in the state of connection. It is so easy to become 'disconnected' for long periods, but maybe that's OK; although the increased awareness of the sound out and about in life seems to indicate a growing presence, or natural expansion, which may best be left to proceed at its own pace?

I am aware now of the sound as the vibration of awareness itself, but more than that it seems to be really that which I am (SELF, but not 'me') There is now a strong sense of a growing expansion outwards from an inner centre or point of stillness, which is replacing the previous inward search. It is difficult pin down in definitive terms, but maybe this gives you a sense of what I would very much like to discus with you and seek your guidance on please.

I am aware too that, at this stage, I no longer feel a desire for more theoretical head knowledge, but there is now a driving need to work in a very practical experiential way.

Funny thing is though, that the more I become aware of the need for silence and stillness in my life, the more life situations occur which seem adverse to that need. I of course already appreciate that 'stillness' and 'silence' are inner states of being, not just about finding those qualities 'out there'. However, it is almost as if there were some perverse anti-spiritual 'law', which says the more you seek those state the more anti 'stuff' happens to prevent it! Maybe it is all part of a natural strengthening process, like needing some resisting force to work with?

Well, that should give a lot to talk about (or maybe, in practice, we should not talk, or even think, for some of our meeting time together?) I await your further guidance please, when we meet.

Om Shanti

George


24/03/2010

My dearest Acharya

- Om Shanti -

I regret I have left it so long since our last meeting. The forces of ragas and tamas have been over-whelming, but perhaps the spring will now provide a natural increase in sattva' to balance forces of these ever present gunas. Anyway, I have not been coping too well with the usual 'life situations' since we last met. Time now, I hope, for an Easter resurrection and spring renewal; hopefully, with your gracious assistance too please.

What shall our meeting centre around? If I am asked to provide a point for a discussion, then maybe it could be along the following lines, if you think it may be appropriate? :-

As you advised last time, I have been trying to be more aware of 'space', as well as 'sound'. I'm reluctant to intellectualise it, but I am aware of them both in this way, from this stand-point: I recently watched a program about 'Infinity', in which it was stated, by a theoretical physicist/mathematician, that the 'infinite can have no centre' and I could see the logic of that. However there is a definition of Divine that says "the centre is everywhere, but the circumference is nowhere". This later I find is not theoretical at all, but is very personal, for us - for everyone. Every being, every 'thing', every atom, is a centre-point for The Infinite; thus the true infinite 'awareness principal' radiates outwards from every divinely created centre, into the all embracing Absolute Awareness. While a wheel turns there is action, around a non-moving centre-point, but the axis-point remains still. Stillness implies being in that still place i.e. 'centred', even when action is going on all around, on the circumference, 'while we watch'. When I get 'swept away' in 'life activity', it shows I have forgotten the ever-present and everlasting silent stillness that is the true centre-point of truly infinite 'being'. In that absent-minded 'for-getting' state, separation and identification gives the illusion of being small, helpless, confused and finite. I notice - I am aware, that when the body is tense it is because I've forgotten my true still-silent centre, and at some point identification has occurred with the body-in-action, or its 'ready for action' stress state. 'Presence' is a state of 'simply being' - just being, being fully aware of being 'here - now', not being 'me', but just the pure simple state of knowing existence (sometimes called 'suchness') Of course there are those times that we are in 'the' natural state of stillness, when it is easier to 'be' stillness and to 'be' silence, 'listening to the slilence', even while in activity with noise are all around.

Maybe I'm not putting this down very well, but as I mentioned last time we met, the the problem is always with the 'forgetting' of what we truly know. That is 'sleep' in the spiritual sense. There is 'not-knowing' and 'knowing', but it's knowing but then 'forgetting that we know', that is always the problem. It is said that 'belief' is accepting what you do not know, but 'faith' is relying on what we do know. I 'think' I would like to re-address the 'forgetting problem' again. Gurdjieff refers often to the constant difficulty of 'self-remembering' and the problem of forgetting i.e 'sleep'. Christ too, often refers 'sleep' in this spiritual sense, or asks 'watch with me' but even then his disciples still 'fall asleep'.

On the other hand, perhaps what I really want, or 'need', is just to come and 'be' with someone, like yourself, who resides in the centre of pure silent still awareness and 'watch with me' with you? I'm not really sure which way we should meet - to talk or to be united in silence? I must ask you to give a gracious lead on this please. Either way will be very helpful, in my present state.

George


25/03/2010

Dear George,

It would be a great pleasure to see you again. And I would be happy to spend a good part of our time together in silent meditation and meditative silence.

In advance of our meeting, and in the light of your letter, I thought you might find the attached essay of mine of interest. For I notice that you write again about the dilemma of spiritual "sleep" and of forgetting the "true still-silent centre". A crucial question here seems to me the question of who or which "I" it is that is the "watcher" or "forgetter"? The essay explains my point of view on this, which is (a) that deep inner silence is the silence of pure awareness - awareness as such, and that (b) the silence that is pure awareness in no way excludes states of separation, stress, tension or readiness of action. That is because awareness itself, and not any egoic "I" is the ultimate and sole experiencer of all states of being, and thus embraces them all. Here of course I am repeating and re-emphasising the 'fundamental distinction' so central to what I call 'The Awareness Principle' - namely the distinction between any and all things or states we experience and the pure awareness of experiencing them.

Just as we can hear and experience music from a place of deep inner silence, so too can we experience mental, emotional, somatic or environmental 'noise' whilst inwardly abiding in a place of silent awareness distinct from it.

I very much liked your introduction of the "watch with me". The question for me then is - who or what is this "me" that is the "watcher"? I hope that the essay will offer you some historical and philosophical insights into this question which might prove practically valuable, leading as it also does to certain "mantra" - guarding thoughts - that for me and also others have offered a vital key to overcoming the forgetfulness you refer too.

I also found it interesting that you devoted a section of your letter to question of infinity, centres and circumferences. I agree wholeheartedly that there is both a theoretical and a most personally intimate and pre-theoretical dimension to such questions. I may have shared with you at one point Rudolf Steiner's notion of 'space and counterspace'. To explain this again, most people tend to think of the infinity of 'space' as a infinitely ex-tending horizon or circumference - a "circumference at infinity". Complementary to this is Steiner's notion of 'counterpsace' as an infinitely 'in-tending' inwardness - with an infinitely distant centre or 'centre at infinity'. I bring up this notion again for another reason. Namely that tradition has always held that sustained inner awareness of one's breathing is the key to sustaining a deeper level of silent inner awareness. For me then, another basic and most practical key in learning to "reside in the centre of pure silent still awareness lies simply and purely in breathing solely with the muscles of the abdomen. For it is the abdomen or hara in which the still silent centre or tan tien resides - as a 'centre at infinity'. Thus it is that through sustained abdominal breathing, one can also sustain a tangible bodily awareness of it - and thereby come to abide in the still-point of silent awareness residing in it.

Finally a reminder of a central paradox - and with it the importance of what might be termed 'paradoxical awareness'. The paradox in this case is that if experiences such as stressful or rushed identification with action or readiness for action etc. are indeed so familiar to you, then surely you can choose to identify with the very awareness of them, rather than with the experiential states themselves. I must emphasise this does not mean or require that you cease to experience such states - or even the de-centredness they bring with them. Instead I am pointing to the paradox that the simple awareness of such states - even states of 'separation from centre' or 'de-centredness' - is all that is needed to transcend that separation or de-centredness.

For like the vast circumference or horizon of cosmic space, awareness is capable of simultaneously containing and transcending all its contents - all experiential states - including states of de-centredness. And yet like that infinite circumference of space it is also that which unceasingly centres itself in all beings - and in the case of human beings, in the hara.

Acharya


30/12/2010

My Dearest Acharya,

Om Shanti.

Sorry for not contacting you before, but been through difficult period personally since we last met.

Strangely, in spite of my personal difficulties, my use of the Silent Sound, for meditation and during normal daily life activities, has been gaining in frequency and strength.

'Meditative living' Karin called it.

Sometimes the Silent Sound if very strong and clear, needing no effort to tune into. Seems that stress may sometimes produce spiritual results!
Why is that I wonder?

Your initial advise about meditation 'for others or the world' has changed my meditation practice from being a limited in-going process, just for my own peace/piece of mind.

It is now an outgoing experience like transmitting silence outwards.
Not though 'me' transmitting, but just being available so the silent flow can come through, like an open tap fed from a infinite source.

Have realised the difference between 'hearing' and 'listening'.

Hearing is sort of accidental and occurs without intent to hear - it just happens from 'out of the blue' so to speak.

Listening is intentional and directed, but difficult to sustain without becoming distracted, as it requires subtle concentration to sustain it for long periods without interrupting thought.

Hearing though can itself be very useful, as it acts as a reminder to listen!

When listening we truly hear and hear more deeply. We then hear more from sound.

Sound itself is neutral, it is us that label it good or bad.

"Let them that have ears hear".

Got overwhelmed by all the rajas in the period surrounding this time of the year, but now have a few days before we return to normal weekly routine.

A spiritual friend, from a long time back, sent me a Christmas card of the Adoration scene, with his own verse dealing with light overcoming the darkness. It also deals with "The Word become flesh".

I've been reflecting on my understanding of 'The Word' and its relationship to the Silence, in conjunction with spiritual light.There seems a very deep and symbolic connection here.Awareness and the Silent Sound seem wrapped up in this mystery package too.

My warm regards and deep respect,

George


My Dearest Acharya

Om Shanti('I AM PEACE') Said to be a greeting of The Self.

As I mentioned in my email yesterday I've been reflecting on 'The Word' in relation to the 'Sound of Silence'.

I also mentioned to you that there seemed to be a mystery to be unwrapped.
After sending you my email yesterday I spent the evening alone, resting & listening to Christmas carol music.

On retiring late to bed, I focused as usual on the inner sound of silence.
During the silence there was an epiphany and in the darkness I lept up fully awakened with a sudden insight!

It had suddenly come to me, in the silent stillness - the solution was already hidden and wrapped up in the opening salutation I had sent you!
Yes 'OM SHANTI'.

'OM' is said to be the original sound that that caused and sustains creation.

OM also means I AM.

I AM is referred to as THE WORD.

In Genesis "God said let there be light" & in John "In the beginning was the Word" - both sound related connected with Creation.

'Shanti' means peace and refers to the stillness and Silence of The Self.
'Self ' in this sense refers to the eternal & infinite and which is Awareness.

Not only is the Self silent, it is SILENCE. but as a Carthusian monk wrote:

"Silence, here in question, is not a void nor negation but, on the contrary, BEING at its fullest and most fruitful plenitude."

from 'They Speak in Silences'

'I AM' is meant not of course in the usual limited 'I am George' way, but is said to be 'the simple feeling of Existence' with no form or identification nor limits added. Just pure Being = pure Awareness)

This sudden revelation, seen all at once, without thought, was like a child receiving and unwrapping an amazing gift. It came fully loaded and all the pieces fell into place all at once.

In the darkness of the night, my eyes were opened with this sudden unexpected blinding insight (Light of inner sight, in the darkness of the dull mind).

Of course, in the above reconstruction, I've had to use my limited knowledge and words to try and explain what I saw and understood in an instance. By an act of Grace, an unseen hand removed the wrapping that had obscured what I already partially knew but did not fully understand or see.

Maybe Acharya, these would not be your words, nor your greater understanding, but I have to come from were I am at my own level.
I am only sharing with you, like a child, the gift I received last night.

If I had not sent that email to you yesterday, I would not have used the salutation. If I had not, as usual, used the salutation, I would not have had the revelation about 'OM SHANTI'. So thanks for assisting me, at a distance, to unwrap that gift.

Well, there is a subject for our next meeting maybe?

Kind regards & my deep respect,

George


Dear George,

Lovely to hear from you again. And yes, it would be great to meet again – even if just to meditate together without an agenda and see what emerges from the silence.

It was nice to read of your experience of Silent Sound now being an ‘outgoing experience’ like transmitting silence outwards ... from an infinite source’.

I was also very interested to read your remarks on listening and hearing, which once again enable us to ‘compare notes’ and explore the interesting similarities-in-difference in our respective experiences of silence and sound.

Meditating on this, I came to realise that for me ‘listening’ itself is a sort of acute and heightened awareness of Silence - as an all-round Space of a sort I have spoken or written of to you before.
Sounds may emerge and be heard in this space, but it is the all-round space of silence that surrounds them that is for me, the space of my listening.

Perhaps what you experience refer to as ‘Silent Sound’ is for me something I myself experience and might dare describe as ‘The Sound of Listening’ or the ‘Spaciousness of Silence’.

It is is not so much sounds that I hear but silent objects I am aware of at different distances that help hold open this Silent Space or ‘Clearing’ of my Listening Awareness – which is above all a listening to Silence as such.

Yet the innate Spaciousness of Silence makes it a difficult for me (though of course I understand what you mean) to think of listening as ‘directed’ – as if it were something like a look or beam of light.

You refer also to the profound relationship between Silence and ‘The Word’. For me this relationship becomes most tangible in an interpersonal context - in listening to to the speech and words of another.

If there is any ‘direction’ to my listening it is to hearing and heeding the exact wording and intonation of their language – which itself speaks silently on many levels.

Yet there is always a more fundamental intent and comportment to my listening to others – that of ‘directing’ my listening first and foremost to a still-point of silence deep within me, and listening into this still-point of silence.

Since this still-point is itself the centre of an all-round space of silence, this inwardly-directed listening is in no way opposite to maintaining an listening awareness of this Spacious Silence. And yet listening into inner silence is a most effective way of entering the silent space and dimensions of meaning that can be wordlessly ‘heard’ within or inside another person’s words and speech.

Once of my favourite quotes again: ‘There is a wordless knowing within the word’ – a dimensions of wordless meaning that can be sensed and ‘heard’.

It seems there are many fruitful seeds that may sprout as words from our being together in silence again!

with warm regards,

Peter


01/02/2011

My dearest Acharya

Om Shanti

Thanks very for your kind email with music video.
I listened to it with my earphones as you recommended.
Powerful music. Thanks for introducing me to Bruckner.

I find that references to 'Silence' occur in all faiths.
Here from my Black book are two quotes, written a few days before our meeting:

"Preaching is simply communication of knowledge; it can really be done in Silence only. Which is the better, to preach loudly without effect or to sit silently sending out Inner Force?"

Sri Ramana Maharshi

from 'Thus Spake Ramana')

We too have spoken about silently 'broadcasting' the Sound of Silence.

and...

"If you can be in silent quietness like a broken gong that is silent,
you have reached the peace of nivarna and your anger is peace."

From 'Sayings of the Buddha'

From my experience though, I find the Sound of Silence is like listening to the after-sound of a working gong, that is still vibrating.
Nevertheless I understand the Buddhist sentiment.
Also like the idea of 'anger in peace' (just need to catch it as it arises and just watch the energy of anger without giving it expression, but easier said than done!)

On one evening after our meeting I found this Sufi text:

"Mawlana Nizam ad-din Khamush said: Their are two kinds of silence.
One appears when the silent person has been carried away in rapture out of the creaturely world. Such a silence is blessed. The other comes from remaining in the creaturely, while at the same time refusing to take part in its process. Such silence is harmful, poisoned."

Who am I to disagree with that Sufi master, but I decided to add, into my notebook, my own, less harsh, contemporary reflection underneath as follows:

"There is a third, or middle way, type of Silence, which is very down to earth but connects with the Divine, while participating in the 'creaturely world'. While listening to inner silence we can still at the same time take part fully in the processes of the world. We can then act and talk from that inner silence. This is silence in action - a divine silence brought down to earth and shared with the world. A living silence, a silence for living."

[Though I would now, as an afterthought, add: "silence for others and the world".]

Also I have come to the very recent realization that the very core of our essential being IS that Silence!

As I see it 'Silence' & 'Stillness' are two qualities of Awareness (Awareness as The Self).

Not just 'listening to silence', but actually being that Silence (coming and becoming FROM that Silence).

Then listening to Silence is like The Self hearing The Self singing (Awareness hearing the sound of awareness, as the song of awareness?)By coming 'from' Silence the flow of silence is an outgoing and caring-sharing all inclusive giving. No longer listening 'for me' or by 'myself', but radiating the Silence of The Self.

It is not of course 'me' that's 'doing' the radiating, but it's just about opening up, like a tap, so as not to impede or restrict the Silent flow.Oh, of course all this is easier said than done, or put into living practice! More practice is the next step (plus remembering & willing)

When I mentioned 'willing' at our meeting you said 'resolve' was stronger.
Afterwards another strange 'echo' happened when I recalled that in my notebook I had noted, from a recent radio discussion, the following:

'The speaker explained belief did not mean having to believe in something, but it was about choosing to make an inner heartfealt resolve to follow a certain path.'

On my genealogy research Ancestry keep sending me what they call 'Hints', so that is what this sort of thing feels like!

Someone mentions 'willing', that sounds interesting, which prompts me to ask more and I get another hint from you about 'resolve, which is then backed up by radio! I think I would be 'heedless' to ignore all those hints.

"Seek and Ye shall find", but when we find a pearl of wisdom we have to carry it away and put it to good use. If we do not it is like finding a pearl and dropping it back into the mud!

By the way when checking in my notebook for that quote about 'belief', I noticed I had also noted underneath:

FAITH: "The word translated as faith (pistis) in the New Testament means more than belief, it means 'another kind of thinking.'"

From 'The Mark' by Maurice Nicoll.

What do you think, as a very learned scholar of such things? I like finding the original meanings of words, as it changes our static views and old rigid thinking. Is there any dictionary or reference book for such original meanings? I did find a library book, many years ago, I think by C.S. Lewis, about such old original word meanings, but don't know what that was now? If you know of anything, please let me know?
For instance, what do our english words silence and listening come from originally? Does that throw more light on that subject?

I have a book, I found sometime ago, by 'chance', at right time, when I became interested in listening to the Sound of Silence (more syncronisity!)
It's the 'Sound of Silence' by Ajahn Sumedho (American Buddhist & Head of Amaravati Monastery in Hertfordshire). Also found couple of website with online recordings of his talks, including 'Sound of Silence'. He is only person I've heard, or read, who actually describes specifically the experience of listening to 'Sound of Silence'.

In his above book, the chapter of the same name commences:

"Somebody referred to the sound of silence as a cosmic hum, a scintillating almost electric background sound. Even though it's going on all the time we don't generally notice it, but when your mind is open and relaxed you begin to hear it. I found this a very useful reference because in order to hear it, to notice it, you have to be in a relaxed state of awareness. - - - - But it's not something you have to find - rather you just open to it; it's the ability to listen with your mind in a receptive state, which makes it possible to hear the sound of silence. You're not trying to solve any problems but just listening. You're putting your mind into a state of receptive awareness. Awareness that is willing to receive whatever is, and one of the things you begin to recognize in that is the sound of silence...[the sound of silence] can help to focus the mind, because when the mind is aware of it, it's in a very expanded state. This state of mind is one that welcomes whatever arises in consciousness; it's not a state where you are excluding anything. The sound of silence is like infinite space because it includes all other sounds, everything. It gives a sense of expansion, unlimitedness, infinity. Other sounds come and go, change and move accordingly, but like a continuum, a stream....[sound] does not obliterate or cover up the sound of silence.

So it's like radar. The mind is in a very wide, expansive state of awareness; inclusive, open, and receptive rather than closed and controlled. So notice and contemplate this experience, and then just concentrate your attention on the sound of silence. If you think about it , think of it like a blessing, grace, or a lovely feeling of being open, rather than as a buzz in the ear, in which case you think it is tinnitus or some other disease. If you start contemplating it as the sound of angels, as a cosmic or primordial sound, blessing every moment as you open to it, you will feel then blessed. Reflecting in this way, in a positive way helps us to take an interest in it and get a good feeling from it.

Listening to the sound of silence, you can begin to contemplate non-thinking, because when you are just listening to the cosmic sound there is no thought. It's like this - emptiness, not-self. When you're just with the cosmic sound alone, there is pure attention, no sense of a person or personality, of me and mine."
He says a lot more about the sound of silence in that chapter and elsewhere in that book (got useful index to find such ref's)
As you see above he even mentions ' infinite space' in relation to sound of silence, which links with your suggested practice.

By the way, I've lent your book 'The Awareness Principle' to an old friend.
I pointed out it shows your website too. Will see what happens, or if he wants to know more.

Om Shanti

My deep regards and silence for you both,

George

01/02/2011

Dear Acharya,

Just a quick PS to my earlier email of this evening. I thought you too might also be interested in the following which I've copied & pasted from a friend's email, sent to me on 27/1/2011 which reads:-

"I must tell you of two new echoes of that conversation which I have picked up in the past twelve hours.

1. Did you hear the BBC Radio 4 programme, Prayer for the Day at 5.43 this morning? Dr Edward Kessler, director of the Woolf Institute of Abrahamic Faiths said that

A story is told of Mother Teresa of Calcutta. What did she say to God when she prayed?, she was asked. ‘I don’t say anything’, she replied, ‘I just listen.’ ‘And when you listen’, she was asked again, ‘what does God say?’ ‘He doesn’t say anything’, she replied, ‘He just listens.’
You could download the text of the whole two-minute talk from the BBC website if you were interested.
2. I was reading in a book about icons yesterday evening when I got home. I saw the following words which immediately took me back to our conversation:
The faculty of hearing the silence of Jesus, attributed by St Ignatius to those who in truth possess His word, echoes the reiterated appeal of Christ to His hearers: "he that hath ears to hear, let him hear."
Never before have I encountered the idea of hearing the silence of Jesus in orthodox writing. I thought you'd be interested."

I was very interested and pleased he told me. More synchronicity! This is also the friend I lent your book to. We were speaking about listening to the sound of silence. He is a retired teacher from Kent College, Canterbury.

When I met him for lunch, we afterwards spent sometime looking at an old master 'Adoration' painting and an modern Icon painting in the Cathedral. He had written some verse in his Christmas card regarding the symbolism of light and darkness in the same 'Adoration' painting. When discussing light & sound, I drew his attention to the idea of sound preceeding light and the practice of listening to the Sound of Silence as an actual experience. He understood this from his own meditation practice using a given word mantra. Interesting to see he's picked up on this since and found this evidence from his own current Christian tradition, which he turned to after being in touch with Gurdjieff/Ouspensky teachings and Fourth Way/Advaita school, some years ago, like myself.

I also have another friend whose a concert pianist, who is of course interested in these ideas of sound etc. I introduced her to the book 'The world is Sound - Nada Brahma' (Music and the Landscape of Consciousness) by Joachim-Ernst Berendt, She said it has had a strong influence on her.
Sort of 'spreading the sound', rather than the word!

Regards again,

George


03/02/2011

Dear George

Our letters and meetings I have indeed been most valuable for us both – and, I believe, hold great potential for others. For they have taught me that in my own teaching on and of awareness, and in particular in the way I introduce others to the practices of awareness that I teach, I have not given nearly enough recognition to and emphasis upon the fact that for me personally the experience of pure awareness as space is indeed inseparable from an experience of it as a spacious silence to which I ‘hearken’ with my whole being. I think that if I were to now emphasise more strongly the non-duality or ‘inseparable distinction’ between awareness as both the all-surrounding emptiness of space and awareness and as an all-surrounding silence this will help my student’s immensely in experiencing both.

This is of no small significance given that all my initial efforts in opening students to an experience of ‘pure awareness’ focus on coming to an experience of it all-surrounding as empty space - sensing that all-round space with one whole’s body and with one’s eyes wide open. To this I could also of course add, with one’s ears all open. Feeling one’s body as a whole as both ‘all eye’ and ‘all ear’ – capable of sensing both space and silence in an expansive, all-round way and from every direction, would then constitute a newly formulated and most valuable introductory ‘practice of awareness’ in addition to the one’s I have written up so far.

Finally, allow me to say (although I might find myself needing to call attention to it again if you post up the extracts from your last letter) I found that your own greater use of the ‘language’ of awareness has flowered in a most wonderful way. I am thinking here of your most beautiful reference to sound and vibration as the ‘song’ and ‘dance’ of silence.

Yes indeed – sound as the ‘song’ of silence, and vibration – movement - as its ‘dance’.

This links to the concept of 'Spanda’ in Kashmir Shaivism – normally translated as ‘vibration’ but also meaning ‘slight movement’.

As I may have mentioned, whereas some people hear colours as sounds, I hear silent movements – even very ‘slight movements’ - as a type of silent sound (for example leaves seen as moving through my window, even though I hear no wind or rustling at all). Similarly, I ‘hear’ ripples on the sea surface on the same way – even though they are not audible, just there is also a way in which I also ‘hear’ a specific ‘shape’ and ‘texture’ of silent sound in the shapes and textures of unmoving ‘objects’ of any sort – whether the specific sculptural ‘posture’ of a totally still tree and its branches, the shape and form of an actual sculpture – or that of any everyday object.

Last but not least there is the way in which I silently ‘hear’ the slightest movements I perceive in people’s faces or just the way they sit, stand or comport themselves with or without moving.

It was strange to recently re-discover some very old writings of mine going back to the early eighties – for in looking at them I realised that most of them were about nothing else but ‘inner sound’ in its two aspects – as ‘sound’ on the one hand, and as what I call ‘feeling tone’ on the other.

I am sure I have used both expressions before, but to me these are two aspects of the ‘sound of silence’ that are both inseparable and at the same time quite distinct. It is their relation that has fascinated me for decades - and still does. For example, what comes through the look in a person’s eyes is to me a definite silent tone of feeling, whereas their facial expression as a whole is more like a ‘sound’. So far I have conceptualised this relation by understand sounds as such (audible or silent) as a shapes of tone.

Then there is the mystery of listening - I really liked the quotation of Mother Theresa you cited about prayer as listening – listening being another of the very first themes of my writing. In my writings and book on therapeutic listening I have always stressed that it in conversation and dialogue it is never a simple matter of one person speaking whilst another listens and then responds. Instead what a person says to another and the way they say it is already a response to the way in which the person they are talking to (whether a counsellor, therapist, friend, spouse, doctor, colleague or boss etc.) is (or is not) listening to them. There is a certain way, in other words, in which we ‘hear’ the way in which another person is listening to us - and shape or reshape what we say accordingly. I wish for all these insights to find their place in my writings on The Awareness Principle and ‘The New Yoga’ – conveying the message that listening itself is a primordial mode of awareness one with its own ‘silent sound’....

These and other deeper, more precisely conceptualised philosophical insights are precisely the type of insights I find lacking in both scientific books and such books as ‘The World of Sound – Nada Brahma’ - no matter how many ‘spiritual’ insights they might contain and express in a still not fully thought out or thought-through way. Thus even the very term ‘sound of silence’ has become a sort of spiritual cliché. The important thing is to carefully formulate the wording of practices that suggest people can try out – for example listening to the spacious silence surrounding them with their whole body and whole being – or ‘hearing’ the way others listen or do not listen (both to themselves and to others).

The English word ‘listen’ is rooted in words akin to ‘hear’ and ‘hearing’. In German this connection is more explicit and yet also has an added dimension lost in English. For both the German words hoeren (‘to hear’) and zu-hoeren (to ‘hear towards’ or ‘listen’) are related to the German word ge-hoeren – which means to belong. ‘Listening’ or ‘hearing to’ (zu-hoeren) in German thus also has the connotation of belonging to (zu-ge-hoeren).

Acharya


08/02/2011

My dearest Acharya,

Om Shanti

Wow, what an fantastic & surprising response you gave to my email! It is as if we have reached a new level in our relationship, but that has only been possible with your very kind patient assistance.It is indeed a great privilege to feel as if I have somehow made a very small contribution though our correspondence & meetings.Before I only thought I gave you a bunch of flowers, but now you acknowledge the gift of flowers in my words too!If things flower it is because they have been nurtured & allowed to grow well, in the best light suitable for them (so thanks for that & your gracious light too)

I could not recall the word needed, when we last parted, but I now recall it, it is 'prasad'.(Just found this ref: Prasad "Food or anything else that has been offered to a diety. Devotees consider it sanctifying to partake of it"). Before it seemed to be only, by grace, I was receiving a great deal from yourself. Now you sanctify not only my words, but my 'silent' contribution too and return them to me made holy (thanks again)
Our contact with each other now suddenly seems even more significant than I had realised before.

I just noticed, that above I said 'contact' - which implies touch.
Very interesting word 'touch' it implies 'being touched' or 'being in touch' on so many levels (physical, psychologically, emotionally, intellectually & spiritually etc). Strangely I've had it in mind, for a while, to bring up that subject with you, in the light of the spacial experience you have many times referred to.

Again, the idea of this as a subject for one of our future discussions, came about when I tried to remember another missing word, lost deep inside my memory (lots of empty space there too!). It is a word used by a now deceased local German friend & Artist (sculpture) A word which she often used relating to sculpture & the 'viewing' experience with a piece of sculpture.

There is so much in what you say, that it will take time to absorb & digest it all. Many thanks.

Anticipating our scheduled meeting (in body, mind & spirit)

OM

George



15.2.2011

SILENCE HUMMING

Hum of Silence.
Infant awaking,
Stillness lying.

Hum of Silence.
Bees gathering,
Pollen clinging.

Hum of Silence.
Child listens,
Inward ringing.

Hum of Silence.
Laden trees,
Songster singing.

Hum of Silence.
Boy re-awakens,
Daydreams going.

Hum of Silence.
Scented flowers,
Perfume surrounding.

Hum of Silence.
Sun-kissed youth,
Surf resounding.

Hum of Silence.
Empty chapels,
Stillness astounding.

Hum of Silence.
Man returns,
Homeward coming.

Hum of Silence.
Silent sound,
I AM becoming.

George


07/03/2011

My Dearest Acharya,

Thanks very much for your email 4/3/2011 which was of very great interest and as you will see thought provoking in various ways.

As to your proposed small gathering for the Shiva Puja evening I would be most honoured to attend.

Thank you very much for that kind invitation. Meanwhile as I felt greatly inspired by your above email Acharya, I have responded by a separate letter in reply, that I prepared, as they say, earlier today. In fact it has taken me all day to type and refine, but I found it very enjoyable even though slow to produce. The only problem I have now, is where/how to send or submit it to you?

My kind regards to you and Karin,

George


06/03/2011

My Dearest Acharya,

Om Shanti.

As you say yourself, of your own enormous literary output, in your own words:

“There seems to be a veritable wave of interest the New Yoga developing, along with – at long last – some actual offers of practical support. That is truly welcome after so many decades of having to dealing with all the countless practicalities of editing and proofing-reading countless essays, creating numerous websites and blogs, publishing and publicisation of books etc. – all either entirely alone or solely with the technical and administrative help of Karin.”

And...

“The painstaking work and time required to deal with all the countless editorial and technical 'devils in the details' that inevitably accompany the publication of books and creation of websites has been no less than that required to write the entire content of my essays, books and websites! 15 books, 10 websites and 25 blog – not to mention at least a 100,000 words of correspondence in 10 years!”

Because of the great task you’ve freely undertaken, I am somehow reminded of Churchill’s words, when he became wartime Prime Minister, as at least I think I can now recall them (?):

“It seemed to me as though my whole life up till now, had been but one long preparation for this time.” (?)

Of course, when Churchill later spoke to the nation, in 1940, about “blood, sweat, toils and tears” he too had known those hard times himself previously, in his own already long life-story, but he could also forecast the “sunlit uplands” too, because he had also already known those higher states, in his varied and busy productive multi-talented life as well. After all the sweat and efforts of your own long and busy productive life, may those sunny uplands soon appear for you too Acharya.

As to your own written output, I think this also applies:

“He who speaks words that
are peaceful and useful and true,
words that offend no one –
him I call a Brahmin”

We on our normal earthbound level, who can only weakly stumble around in the dim, but still and silent, twilight amongst the foothills of the Spirit, look up with amazement to where you fly on high, in the subtle samadhic light, which you reflect down, for our benefit, onto us here below, by your actual presence and your ‘peaceful and useful and true’ words. We salute you Acharya and call you Brahmin too.

We happy blessed few, who, from time to time, see your reflection mirrored deep in our soul, give thanks for the mighty long term efforts you have made for all others who aspire to be raised higher, by the inspiration your encouraging and peaceful words, which communicate the small seeds of truth, deep into our hearts. All your past written output and literary efforts, which are our present blessings, have now all matured into blossoming trees full of deep knowledge, which you first sowed long ago in the spring time. May your words now blossom and come to fruition in our hearts, and at last for you now as well as in the world at large.

What can we, in our humble lowly state, do except accompany you for a while, following behind, in your spiritual slipstream, along the same high way, on the great spirit journey. Sometimes, your actual one-to-one presence seems too say “Stop here, and stay awake with me” , when we come together along the way, for an hour or two, at an occasional pre-arranged meeting point. Then however, the following often seems to applies us too:

“What! Could none of you stay awake with me one hour?
Stay awake, and pray.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

No words from my own mouth could be of help to you, at your higher level. I must therefore turn now to much wiser words, from those greater and good souls, on higher levels, in order to bathe your head and wash the dust from your tired feet and hands, after all your extended marathon efforts. Prey these various wise words, from other wise men and women of a higher type, that hereafter follow, may give you some small comfort and maybe a little encouragement:

“Invisible lines. The fisherman repairs his net And the fish is caught.”

“If the fisherman does not have a properly repaired net, then his trip is useless. Preparation is the major part of his endeavor.[Then] going out to fish becomes a mere formality. Then fish fall into his hands as if guided by invisible lines.

When it seems as if nothing encouraging is happening to us, it is important to remember such perseverance. Work may be a drudgery and we may find our goals quite distant. But we must persevere and prepare nevertheless. That will bring a steady pace towards our goals, and buoy our faith in rough and threatening times.

To taste the fruit of perseverance requires maturity and experience. We build our resources even when circumstances seem to be against us. We don’t neglect anything we have set in motion. If we nurse our plans through good times and bad, our plans will eventually succeed with the inevitability of fish caught in a net.”

Jesus, as another teacher, commanded his disciples to be ‘fishers of men’ and to ‘Feed my sheep’. You Acharya are such a Fisherman of men and woman and a good Shepherd too. Your many stranded interwoven writings are now the strong and already carefully woven fishing net, made to gather in the soul shoals of spiritual mankind. All your books are good wholesome healthy spiritual food, for the hungry sheep seeking truth, in these times of spiritual hunger and moral famine.

Sri Ramakrishna said, of the different class of yogis:

“Mention is made of two classes of yogis: hidden and known. Those who have renounced the world are the ‘known’ yogis’: all recognise them. But the ‘hidden ‘ yogis live in the world. They are not known.”

Also I think I recall that there is a saying:

“What is hidden shall be revealed; what is revealed shall be hidden.”

Perhaps now is the time for what has lain hidden, from popular plain sight, to be at last revealed openly, for the wider spiritual knowledge of a true New World order. Conversely, those that have until now enjoyed successful financial popularity, with empty superficial spiritual teachings, may start to sink and shrink from view, with the arrival of the eternally new light of The Awareness Principal, as revealed in The New Yoga, which you have been teaching already for so long. Here I also think of the New Testament words, contained in The Gospel According to St. John:

“And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”

I believe that silence and the sound of silence, and listening to the sound of silence, that has interested me for so long and guided me through my soul journey too, is also compatible with The New Yoga teaching too. “Silence can be our yoga”, says Marsha Sinetar too, who observes that Swami Paramananda, one of the first Hindu teachers to influence American thought (therefore Western thought) taught that silence had the power to cultivate patience:

“The deep things do not come suddenly.Go on working silently. Silence and patience go together. Silence has wonderful creative power. Make a study of the lives of great men. They conceive an idea but they do not go out and shout it before the world; they think silently and work quietly until they realize their ideal.”
After you have been working so long, with your teaching unrecognized, I now believe this is true for you too, and The New Yoga teaching also. Now seems to be the beginning of the realization of your ideal, as a teacher and writer.

Marsha Sinetar also writes:

“Sitting silently or speaking quietly within our own hearts and minds, we confront our past actions, aspirations, our most cherished dreams. Not only do we meet ourselves in silence, but the silence heals us as well. Thus we rediscover and renew ourselves, at heart. Something in us – energy, life-source, our positive will to live – is strengthened by silence. It is not just the absence of sounds but [silence is] the presence of a positive complete world in itself”.

I now pray this renewing silence will give you the renewed strength to continue with your life’s work on bringing the New Yoga teaching to a world-wide audience (‘audience’ as those who listen) As I started to tell you when we parted, in your hallway, at the end of our last meeting, I did sometimes hold you silently in mind, when listening to the sound of silence, and silently ask for help even for Acharya.

Right at the beginning of our first contact, your initial question to me, about my using the ‘sound of silence’ as a self-adopted meditation technique, just for myself, was:

“Why meditate just for yourself, when you can meditate for others and the world?”

You Acharya, were destined to write, not as many authors do, for themselves and their own glory (and their pocket!) All your words are for the benefit of others and the world, in this time of great need for a new and natural form of practical knowledge, as contained in the New Yoga and your existing teachings.

It now seems to me, that as knowledge and practice must always go hand in hand, to be of any practical use, to others or the world, maybe the natural and passive meditation technique of listening to the, always ever present and every where present, sound of silence, naturally forms part of the New Yoga too, but what do you say?

The silent sound is always available to all people everywhere, regardless of religion, or believes, or non-beliefs, as a natural inbuilt gift, which they all already have, and which requires no mantra or initiation, nor any mystical esoteric theology.

Silence of course already exists in many existing disciplines and ancient practices. As Marsha Sinetar says:

“Throughout the ages silence has been considered a way, a discipline, by which people could refine and deepen themselves. Most monastic orders take vows of silence ... Some churches, the Quakers for example, fully value silence to this day and conduct their services largely in an atmosphere of silence.”

The only thing many silent practice disciplines often fail to fully explain and fully emphasise, is the self-experiential fact that silence itself is heard as an actual, very subtle, sound, that we can all, with just some little self-practice, actually find and hear for ourselves, as the natural ‘sound of silence’ itself (i.e. described as the very subtle continuous scintillating hum, like a very distant buzz) Even the deaf, or hard of hearing, can hear this silent sound inwardly! It does not even matter ‘what it is’, as it in any event serves to bring the ever over-active mind into inner silence and mental stillness, in any place at anytime, and during any activity, or even while thinking and talking (and while typing this now)

As both, the Awareness Principle and ‘listening to the sound of silence’, are natural, they are equally socially, ecologically and economically valid, for our over polluted inter-related globalised world, at this very difficult time. They are social because they are already part of the natural human condition, regardless of class, race, gender or status and no one is excluded from voluntary participation, and all can participate of their own democratic free will. They’re also Ecological, because nothing new is required, from anywhere or anyone, to participate, freely in any place at any time, as they both use what we all already have and are born with from birth. Economical, because they are already freely available natural gifts everyone already possesses, regardless of income or life style, in poverty or wealth.

Also they are both ecumenical and non-denominational and universally valid, regardless of beliefs or non-beliefs and they’re independent of any existing scientific or philosophical or other intellectual outlook. They are stateless, international, multi-national and global, as they are not dependant on place of birth or residence either.

They are free of any human conditions, as they are both invisible and silent in practice, in anybody and any body, young or old, regardless of personal or national circumstances. Also they are non-national and non-sectarian by nature. They are ideally suitable and ready for today’s globalised multi-cultural needs.

As more and more people start to find the Awareness Principle and the related Sound of Silence, then indeed the new ‘peacemakers’ will start to re-inherit the Earth, in an equally fair and properly moral way, for the renewed benefit of all humanity and even our planet.

As awareness and silence are always everywhere present, the ‘awareness principle’ and ‘sound of silence’ practice, which are both inter-related, are only experienced in the eternal ‘here’ and ‘now’, and by being attentive to awareness practice and the silent sound then ‘presence’ is the natural condition during practice and not a separate independent occasional practice. As awareness and silence are above, or behind, all thought and mental processes, they are both ‘mindful’ and mind–less, even during problem solving or other necessary mental activity, as thinking will then become even more efficient and creative and feed back into education and all other forms of knowledge and creativity.

This will then bring about true ‘repentance’ i.e. ‘metanoia’ - meta-noia in Greek - which means ‘change of mind’, as awareness itself, instead of old style ‘thinking’, becomes the new basis of life and living, for the equal benefit of everyone and every living being everywhere. The more efficient mental condition will start to solve our present social and global problems, by a much more sustainable new type of moral-based science and ecological socially efficient form of new and fair economic system suitable for the New Age awareness and its practices. As you already indicate a new form of medicine will begin to arise too.

To finish off on a more personal note: I was this morning walking, while listening to the sound of silence, when I suddenly became aware that what is usually described as ‘walking in silence’ is not just about walking in a sort of mindful way, with just the mind ‘within’ being silent for a while, as the body just walks, but the activity actually takes place ‘IN’ the all pervading surrounding spatial silence, in spite of the traffic and surrounding activity, which were also all taking place and moving within the SAME silent space, even though it might not be perceived by any others around during that timeless moment! It is only due to your bringing together my pre-existing practice of listening to the sound of silence with your suggestion of extended spatial awareness practice, which you teach, that this enlightened insight has by grace occurred today.

Om Shanti, may the same silent awareness of the INFINITE AND ETERNAL SILENT SELF become more readily available, world-wide, for all others and our world, through your NEW YOGA teaching and your readily available books.

George

Dear George,

Here a poem to distil the essence of our meditations:

Pure Awareness as Spacious Silence
To be aware of your whole body
Sensing it as a whole, from within.
To be aware, with your whole body, of
The entire, all-round space surrounding it.
To experience the emptiness of space
Surrounding your body and all things
As the pure space of awareness itself.
To let your body become ‘all eye’,
Not only seeing but feeling the
Oneness of all-round space.
To not only see and feel but
BE the emptiness of space
Is to BE pure awareness.

To be aware of your whole body,
Sensing it as a whole, from within.
To be aware, with your whole body, of
The entire, all-round space surrounding it.
To experience the emptiness of space
Surrounding your body and all things
As the pure silence of awareness itself.
To let your body become ‘all ear’,
Not only sensing but hearing
The emptiness of space as a
Spacious silence around you.

To BE that pure silence is
To BE pure awareness.
To be aware of empty space.
To be aware of pure silence.
To be the empty space around all things.
To be the clear silence of empty space itself.
To experience pure awareness as
And infinitely spacious silence.
To BE that spacious silence.
Is to BE pure awareness.

To know all vibration
As a ‘dance of awareness’
And all sounds as the
‘Song of awareness’
(George DeHaas)

To know all things in space
As shapes and sounds of that
‘Spacious Silence’ which IS Awareness.
To hearken to empty space as silence.
To sense silence as infinite space.
To hear the ‘sounds of silence’
That ARE all things, all bodies.
Pervading them as space.
Shaping them as sounds.

Being Aware means
Listening with our whole body and our
Whole being into the unbounded expanse of
That Spacious Silence which IS
Awareness itself.

George - extract from Bulletin Board blog:

I have been trying, for most of my so called spiritual life, to just 'get lost' and lose all the things that attached to the true identity and reality of who I AM.

OH, if we only could just simply 'lose' our small limited personal identity called 'me' (or more often 'ME", when I'm feeling more than average!) I try so hard too, but it is so so difficult and I need all the outside expert help I can get, especially if I can find some enlightened guide, like you, who has done it already, in spite of being average too.

Question to George from Acharya:

A question to George:

Why should anyone feel they need to 'lose' the 'small limited personal identity called 'me''?

After all, that awareness which is our 'larger' and less limited identity not only transcends but also lovingly embraces and AFFIRMS all its own smaller, more limited identities.

When will people get the very simple message of 'The Awareness Principle' - namely that just as the awareness of a thought is not itself a thought - or even limited by that thought - so also is the very awareness of a 'small limited identity' not itself limited or made smaller BY that identity.

The whole message of The New Yoga is precisely that none of us need to 'lose' our small identities - something which is simply not possible because ALL identities are eternal - and eternally valid.

What we need to learn is simply not to 'I'-dentify with these 'limited identities' in an unaware way, but rather to be aware of them, to loving embrace and affirm them in awareness - and to identify with that larger, all-embracing and all-affirming awareness itself.

That is precisely what 'The Awareness Principle' teaches as a fundamental Practice of Awareness - to identify with that Awareness which not only 'transcends' but also freely and lovingly embraces, affirms and 'owns' all our 'small, limited identitites' - as aspects of its own-being ('sva').

No aspect of self requires an apology. Every aspect of self, however small limited, is valid - and calls simply for awareness and affirmation.

Those who constantly yearn to 'lose' or transcend their 'small limited identity' show only that they have not yet understood the nature of that awareness which constitutes their 'larger' identity - which is itself the loving source of every 'small limited identity'.

This is the message I sought to get over through my posts and mantra on 'Svatantrya' - namely that to identity with and adopt the perspective of our 'larger' self means precisely to do as it does - to affirm and 'own' its own smaller, more limited identities.

In the terms of Kashmir Shaivism - as interpeted through The New Yoga - every 'limited self' or 'Jiva' is itself a valid expression and living portion of Shiva.

The point therefore, is not to 'lose' the Jiva but not to 'get lost' in it - thereby losing a sense of its larger, loving source - of Shiva.

Finally, what meaning or value is there to be found in the old, much-revered, much-repeated and grand-sounding mantram 'I AM' if the 'I' it refers to does not embrace and affirm ALL that we are and ALL that IT is - which includes every 'me' and every 'you' - however 'small' or 'limited'?#

Response from George:

Re: Your New Yoga Bulletin Board reply No. 242

My Dear Acharya,

Om Shanti.

I have been meditating on your reply, but I was reluctant to answer from just an old philosophical theory-base alone, but by grace I have now received the benefit of a subsequent insight, which is also very relevant to my practice that we have discussed before.

By a strange coincidence I have found that your question, addressed to myself, about ‘losing’ the ‘small limited personal identity’ and your observation concerning “ I AM’ are both very much linked in PRACTICE, as well as theory, to my above opening salutation ‘OM SHANTI’! I hope I can here find the words to express what I wish to say, but it is just too long for a reply on the New Yoga bulletin board and may not be relevant there either.

‘Om Shanti’, so I’ve been told, is translated as: ‘I AM PEACE’ and is said to be the ‘greeting of The Self’ (I know you do not use the term The Self, but I use it in the same sense as you refer to unlimited eternal awareness) In my practice, of listening to the sound of silence, peace is ‘heard’ as the scintillating SOUND OF SILENCE itself, but at the same time ‘felt’ as vibrant stillness coupled with a strong sense of what I describe as ‘just being’ (NB: here you may recall my childhood self-discovered game practice of ‘just being here’ and my early childhood discovery of hearing the subtle sound of silence) As I have also explained to you before, there is also a sense of ‘coming from’ the silent sound. The strong sense of ‘felt’ BEING, is not body related, but is synonymous with the sound of silence. As I recently explained to Karin, there has of late, from time to time, been a sense of the body being ‘contained’ within the sense of JUST BEING (NB: it is NOT an ‘out of body experience’ with ‘me’ outside of my body, but just an awareness of the body including ‘me’ being contained in that which is greater than my normal body-mind ‘me’ related state)

One evening recently I had been meditating on your observations, prior to listening to the sound of silence, as I usually do, before I went to sleep. During the night I suddenly woke up feeling extremely wide awake, with a tremendous sense of wellbeing, while the sound of silence was very strong and clear (The sense of wellbeing, was a STRONG FEELING of pure very vibrant being that felt enlivening but yet of great calmness) In that state, I was suddenly made aware of the link between the silence as subtle sound (OM) and the ‘simple feeling of existence’ (I AM as pure being, without any labels or identification attached) I became aware, then and there, of the interlinked connection, that I had previously overlooked! By grace I received a direct answer that was clear and known from experience, above and beyond all theory or second-hand knowledge. Nevertheless, I subsequently have to now try and bring this experience into words and terms, which I can relate here, to you, in writing after the sudden flash of insight.

First from a purely theory knowledge based perspective, the teaching given to the School tradition, to which I once belonged, came from the guidance of Shri Shantanda Sarawati, who, as the Head of the Tradition, is known as Shankarasharya. The teaching said: ‘I AM’ was and is the ‘simple feeling of existence, without any labels or identifications attached’ which, as I understood it, at some point arose by the will of the Absolute to bring creation into existence and maintain its continued existence but always exists as undivided eternal and infinite and in all forms at all times everywhere. Now while I cannot have any direct knowledge of that, except of course as theoretical knowledge, nevertheless the ‘simple feeling of existence’ is relevant to PRACTICE, for the reason I have indicated i.e. my ‘feeling of just being’ is, I realised, the same as the ‘simple feeling of existence’ experienced at an individual level.

To backtrack even further into my past, I have to now refer to my childhood revelation, before I had any learnt knowledge of any such teachings. As I have mentioned before, when I was a child we lived opposite a chapel and one day they put up a large poster, I could read from our front window, which proclaimed "Jesus said 'I AM the way the truth and the life'. As I looked at this from our window, this saying puzzled me for some days. Later, while contemplating this again, a sudden revelation came, into my fresh young open mind, like a flash. I immediately saw and knew, in that instant and from then on, that it was NOT Jesus claiming 'he' was the way, the truth and the life, but he was proclaiming that THE infinite and eternal 'I AM' was the way the truth and the life. I later found all the 'I AM' sayings, in many scriptures, from various traditions, can be seen and understood in the same greater light. IN later life, I heard that it is said, that when the great teachers of mankind achieve full realization of their true being reality and say 'I AM' they refer to this eternal infinite all-embracing ever-present being-ness (awareness) and not to themselves as just embodied humans beings (For instance The Ruchira Avatar, Adi Da Samraj makes this distinction too) Thus the ‘I AM’, in that sense, does in fact embrace all and everything, just as you indicate.

Agreed, that 'I AM' as just a term, or concept is worn out, old and dead, but only because it is just a ‘concept’ or ‘word statement’ or becomes a habitually chanted ‘worn out’ mantra, separated from the feeling of existence. As a mere ‘verbal statement’ it is an empty shell. As a ‘mantra’ it is just a familiar sound that carries certain meanings. As an idea it comes second-hand from the past. However, ‘FEELING’ IS ALWAYS A CURRENT EVENT, that is 'experienced' now. 'I AM' as a pure present FEELING OF BEING, is alive and well and lives in all and everything always everywhere in the here and now of eternal presence. 'I AM' as the pure simple FEELING OF EXISTENCE, is always in the present and does not come clothed in a couple of combined empty words, nor as a second-hand concept or old mantra. Awareness of existence is FELT directly as the ‘I am’ in the present, then concepts from the past and empty words or theories do not apply to the direct first-hand experienced reality of being.

The pure FEELING 'I AM', without identification labels or attachments to form, needs no descriptive words or ideas. The ‘I AM’ in that 'sense', is pure feeling and being, not old second-hand handed down knowledge, from the dead past of old teachings, but direct 'KNOWING' in the living FELT experience of presence, here and now. There are brief occasions when, instead of just being ‘in the body’ as usual, there is sometimes a greater sense of the ‘body being inside’ of limitless being that is simple existence, then that is wordless and beyond mere words, but it applies here.

Going back to theory, ‘OM’, I have heard, is translated as ‘I AM’; but it is also said to be the original sound that brought the creation into existence and maintains it. ‘OM’ still exists as a subtle sound, which we can still hear (experience) as the ‘sound of silence’, so the echo of theory is found in actual experiential practice. The ‘I AM’ may be theory, if just viewed from the intellect alone, but again it is experienced in actual practice as the experience of the ‘simple feeling of existence’. The ‘I AM’ as ‘pure being’ and ‘OM’ as the original sound are one and the same, but in two aspects from our perspective. Because they are both infinite they exist as the very center of our own being too, where they are experience as silent sound and felt as existence without any labels or identification attached.

The link between OM as ‘sound’ and as universal ‘being’ is also reflected in St. John 1.1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”. Of course, many have made the well-known connection between St John’s “The Word” and ‘OM’ (I AM). Another link to the original act of creation and sound is suggested in Genesis 1.3: “And God SAID, Let there be light”, which indicates sound arose prior to the first created light. However, this remains theory and just academic discussion, as it is the essential to go to direct practice. In practice the Word or Om are experienced by listening to the ever present Sound of Silence, while the same ‘I AM’ is felt as pure existence (infinite Being)

It is said, the unattached ‘I AM’, as ‘pure being of presence’ or the ‘simple feeling of existence here and now’, has no labels attached and is without any attachments nor form. The I AM, in that pure state, just IS what it is (“I Am that I Am”, which is not a definition of God but and indication of the divine nature of the I AM) It is then said, that when the ‘I Am’ is experienced within an individual form the ‘original sin’ of identification occurs and identifying labels are then attached and accumulated. The pure I AM becomes falsely identified, by the form (lets say a human form) as ‘me’, then I AM becomes limited as in ‘I am a child’, ‘I am a boy’,’ I am Man’, ‘I am George’, ‘I am a pensioner’ etc, etc. Then comes: ‘I am tired’, ‘I am old’ etc, etc, and so on, ad infinitum, until the pure true identity is obscured and forgotten altogether! In that obscured limited disconnected state we misidentify the infinite ‘I AM’ experience as the limited personal ‘me’ identification, because we ‘claim it for ‘our’ self alone.

It is said that by the practice of self-observation, we can begin to notice the false limitations at work, then observation (awareness) gives us the possibility of change, by becoming less identified with some of the accumulated labels. By becoming more and more aware of the labels, we can start to make choices and practice discrimination, non-attachment leading to non-identification, at least in part, some of the time.

The ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’ labels usually brand us, in both senses, for life and can restrict our life; but by being more aware of the labels we have the choice not to identify with them. Then we no longer have to be ‘what it says on the label’. Once we begin to break the power of the self-identified brand label, we are no longer subject to that brand and we have more choice in what we buy into in our life, as the identification labels no longer stick to us and some start to fall away or cease to attract us to their ‘selling power’. Therefore it is possible to say practice may aid the removal of self-identifying labels and even start a process of ‘losing’ them. Even if we cannot ‘lose’ them as such, we can see beyond the exterior label to the true reality, behind all the labels, then they start to ‘lose their power’ over us, so that the real power of our true identity (awareness) starts to operate more and more in our life.

Now, perhaps I have not fully ‘understood’ The Awareness Principle, or your New Yoga teaching fully, from your point of view, but with respect these must still come down to myself, and others, as ‘second-hand’ knowledge, regardless of the very high source that speaks and writes from a direct experience-base. As I have indicated above, theory and knowledge are useful, but only IF linked in with practice. As I explained to you, at the very beginning stage of our first meeting, my main objective, late in life, is now aimed at first-hand practice, as just acquired book knowledge and mere theory, or more philosophy, on their own, is just head-knowledge, which creates more mental activity and inner head-noise, with which I am no longer satisfied. I seek satisfaction (i.e. in the Sattvic related sense) through practice, even if my practice is still weak.

As you know already, I have found your kind direct face-to-face teaching and wise guidance, at our meetings, extremely useful and very worthwhile, because of your strong emphasis has been on practice, including various useful practical awareness and exercises, or surrounding space-awareness, which I have adopted within my limited capacity. Your good very practical assistance has made a difference in my actual practice and totally changed my form meditation technique, of listening to the sound of silence, from being just inner-directed for just my own peace of mind (or cut off ‘piece’ of mind!) into an outward going practice which allows the ever-present Sound of Silence, from the Infinite Source (awareness) to flow through myself, like an open tap, outward towards others and into the world around (as you first advised) Your practice of being aware of the space and the space around us, helps us to experience the sense of being more than our body-mind-ego set of labels, so that pure sense unlimited I AM is experienced.

‘Understanding’ (under-standing, as in ‘standing under’) if it is just a verbal and mental swallowing and intellectual digestion of anyone’s or anyone’s teachings or writings, it remains second-hand food, dropped as conceptual crumbs and mental titbits from a ‘rich man’s table’ as theoretical brain-food, to those that feed on them at a lower level underneath. The best thing is to use such directions only as PRACTICAL GUIDES for actual practice. Practice opens up the much more satisfying possibility of first-hand direct knowing, in place of old acquired knowledge which is handed down to us by others. Knowledge is not ‘knowing’, as knowledge is from the past, but knowing is in the present. When we start to have first-hand knowing, in the present moment of actual experience, we can begin to ‘stand on’ what we really truly KNOW now there and then, so then we can stand up on our own small but experienced feet, and can look beyond a lifetime’s accumulated personal library of well used second-hand books. It’s no good just ‘understanding’ acquired knowledge alone, as we must STAND ON what we actually KNOW for ourselves, from experience through practice. Your direct first hand guidance has been helpful in this very practical respect.

As Krishnamurti says, teachings always come from the past, but true learning always takes place in the present moment now. Books, by themselves, are ready-made second-hand head-feeding tools, but we ultimately have to find the real fresh food for ourselves, as it grows in our own soil, but that requires practical work on our part, otherwise growth is not possible. Gardening inside the head, does not a Head Gardener make! Knowledge is from the past for the head, knowing is from the heart ‘now’.

Although I have chosen to share these matters with you, maybe in some apparent variance to your teachings, I still have to offer, what I have by grace, myself received, so I trust you will see it and accept it in that light. I have to see by the light I am given, not through your eyes or by your torch alone. The light is the same and the source is not different, but our respective lenses are of a slightly different hue perhaps.

I still very much look forward to our next scheduled meeting and I hope you will still allow our association to continue, on this practical pathway, in spite of the present state of my ‘understanding’ regarding your extensive wise and helpful teaching concerning practice. During our journey together, it is by practice that any superficial mind-differences are by-passed.

Please do not feel the need to answer or reply to any of these matters online, as I hope this communication can be dealt with, heart-to-heart and face-to face, as part of the next meeting and future agendas (too much for just one short session!)

Sent with all my usual deep and sincere respect,

George

22/5/2011

Addendum from George:

In view of my recent reference to "I AM, as the pure simple unqualified FEELING of existence", I was interested to note on a new post by you that you state: "AWARENESS itself is precisely that which FEELS (verb)".


Short response from Acharya:

Many of my writings refer to awareness as that which feels. Indeed ‘The Awareness Principle’ itself is precisely the principle that we can can only know that ‘I AM’ or that anything ‘IS’ from out of a (feeling) awareness of being or existing.

Recognising this however, necessarily makes ‘feeling awareness’ itself, and not ‘being’ or ‘self-being’ (the I AM in the outworn sense) the highest metaphysical reality - something that has in turn many profound implications.

One implication is that an ‘unqualified awareness of being’ is inseparable from from what is, in one sense an, even more primordial awareness – an unqualified awareness of non-being understood as a felt but still not actualised potentiality to be. ‘Non-being’ or ‘non-existence’ understood as a realm of pure potentialities of being - is in this sense the dark womb of that fundamental ‘feeling of existence’ at the heart of all things, and in one sense also the silent womb of sound - or the womb of silent sounds - to which the OM returns us. The feeling sense behind the words ‘I AM’ is in a way inseparable from a quite different feeling sense – the sensed possibility of NOT-BEING and of nothing ever having come to be at all. One might call this sense ‘NOT I'.